First of all, let me just say that I know how sad the title of this post makes me sound ... but wait till you are past forty and you will see ... the struggle is real people!

Online dating after 40

So many of you may have read my other post on single-dom in my forties and the struggle to "put myself out there", for those of you who have missed it ... you can catch up over here!

So I recently embarked on a month of online dating .... eeeek! Firstly let me say I hate hate hate this whole dating scene and quite honestly right now an arranged marriage sounds a whole lot better than this continued struggle. Let's face it I am no lithe sleek blonde with perky melons, legs for days and a Colgate smile. Nope, I am just your average gal with a few extra's around the middle (we will get back to this). But this is where it get's complicated, I am a Christian and have rather strong convictions in this area ... making me the enemy of all hormone driven specimens from the male population.


So back to the fact that there are basically three types of men in online dating, what are they you may ask? Well ... okay, let me enlighten you!

Online dating and the 3 male stereotypes

1. The male stud

2. The nit picker

1. The sex fiend

Intrigued, well so you should be. Let's break it down a little.


1. THE MALE STUD
It seems like these days it is an all out competition for men on online dating sites to list how many sports they do, with the majority opting for running, hiking, cycling, supping and MTB.

While it is great to see that men are choosing to be active, they all claim they want like minded partners and once again that too is great but not all women are sports driven. Also what if I prefer a gym to a mountain bike ride, and what if I am not as fit as you? Does that suddenly make me unable to care, laugh, joke or enjoy life with you? Are you telling me that only if I plan to meet your fitness level and sports criteria do I qualify as adequate in your eyes ... bah humbug to those who say they don't look at bodies and judge.

I am quite happy to not have to compete with an iron horse, mountain or pair of takkies for your company thank you. I may be squidgy, but at least I judge a guy on personality and persona rather than his qualifying time!

2. THE NIT PICKER
So these guys are quite fun and you can actually tease the socks off them ... if you get the right one that is. They go through your profile with a fine tooth comb and then message you to check the details under the veil of "I hope you don't mind me asking" or "I'm not sure if it is okay to ask this?"

So honestly my impish ways kick in here and I tend to pretend stupidity, then innocence and then well I guess just plain honesty will always win out in the end. No, my life does not read like a book, it is messy, real and unapologetic ... shit happens guys!

3. THE SEX FIEND
Now this guy, he is always colourful! The conversation usually starts off pretty innocently and then bam ... the sex talk. These guys are quite skilled at trying to draw out your sensual side and get you to either describe your body and/or what turns you on. If it wasn't so desperate it might actually be quite funny. Luckily I had my fingers burned quite badly a good few years ago and can generally see these guys from a mile off.

Whilst I am actually quite a "touchy feely" person, as you all know by now I am also a very strong Christian. I do not believe in extramarital sex (yes, even though I am not a virgin ... there are no t&c's applicable in the bible) and so it is kinda easy for me to quickly get rid of these guys with the reality of no sex ... telephone or otherwise dude! They hightail it out of there before you can say "boo" and you know what ... that's okay ... clearly they are not looking for a soul mate but rather a bed warmer.

The final word

So I wish this didn't sound as bleak as it is ... but trust me I have yet to find a guy who can take my curves, not find fault with my life and be happy with out any form of sex.

"I find it so surprising that men now find their identity in sport, sex and little else ... what happened to the gentle-man. The one who opened doors for you, took you on dinner dates and just enjoyed being friends before lovers?"

I know this may sound outdated, but I would rather be alone than be judged or used to please someone's carnal hankerings. After all, in this day and age, it is far easier and less compromising to live the single life.

You may say find a Christian dating site, sadly I have and it is no different.

So that's my month of online dating in a nutshell. If you disagree, leave a comment below I would love to hear about it.


**images - Unsplash.com